btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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