For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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