OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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