Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
