In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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