People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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