found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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