I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
