no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
