i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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