I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
When are your genitals available?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
