I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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