If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
