I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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