Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
