I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
