I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
this hospital has no fireball
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
