I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Two words: blizzard sex
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize