It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
