You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize