Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
A bitchslap is in order.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
