I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
