well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
