He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
