why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
