Whod you bang
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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