I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize