so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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