Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just had sex on a roof
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
