so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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