did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm always down for nudity.
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