I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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