I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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