i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
