Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
