Porn is love you can see.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize