"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
