found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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