Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
