Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
