It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
