susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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