dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
