When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
