No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
