So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
