So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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