he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
