if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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