Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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