I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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