Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
