sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Randomize
