did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
