went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
