That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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