Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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