Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
