There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
