I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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