she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i think i have two assholes
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
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She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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