Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
