that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
