I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm too high and old for this...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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