As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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