I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
